What I Look For In A Guy

What do I look for in a guy? Just the usual stuff, I suppose. I want a guy who can make me laugh, who has a great smile, and who will pull the mythic sword of my people out from an ancient stone.

Physically I’m not the picky sort. Fat or skinny, tall or short? Those things don’t matter to me. What does matter is that he should be able to fit into very small spaces, like in a cabinet under the sink, in case we need to hide during the inevitable robot uprising. I want a man who can grow a viking-level beard, a beard he can hide things inside, like small animals, such as a sugar-glider. He doesn’t have to actually grow that beard, I just think he should be able to.

I am looking for a man who has good friends who support him. What does that mean? It doesn’t mean that he’s a party animal, it just means that he has four steady friends he can count on. They should all dress in primary colors, each picking one that represents their personality. My guy’s color should be red. These friends should operate giant mecha, and those should combine into an even larger mecha that operates on cosmic energy powered by friendship. My guy should be the head, or at least the sword-arm of this mecha.

I want a guy who likes to spend the night in, snuggling in front of a fire, wrapped up together in the skin of a bear I just killed. I want a man who can respect my abilities with a knife, fears them a little, I want a guy who understands my desire for the hunt. I want a man who will bathe in blood with me, who doesn’t mind when it dries on our skin, who likes the way our flesh looks when the blood flakes off, new, maybe even younger?

I need a man who understands my need for vengeance. My need is never-ending. It’s vicious. It may some day destroy him, take us both down with it. I’m looking for a man who can revel in our mutual destruction. I’m looking for a man who doesn’t fear death, but who fears something else, something unknowable, something that lives within us both, a thing that will only awaken when we meet, a thing that hungers.


Like this, want more? Consider reading Real Women Have Curves

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