The Dr. Doom Nemesis

Know it or not, you may have a Dr. Doom.

Dr. Doom is an interesting character. Basically, he’s a genius in an iron Mask who has his own country. Okay, he’s terribly scarred, and that can’t be pleasant, but he is also so smart that he can invent anything he wants, and did I mention he has his own country? Yes? Well, it’s worth repeating.

Dr. Doom hates Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four for…reasons? It’s always a little unclear. Often, it changes from story to story. Doom hates Richards because he thinks that Richards booby trapped his device, or because people think Richards is smarter than he is, or because Richards stole his girlfriend or something. The reasons are often way too flimsy, considering how smart Doom is.

I used to think that this made Doom, while a cool antagonist, not a very realistically motivated one. I mean, why, when Doom has all this cool stuff, would he even BOTHER about Richards. I mean, who gives a beach ball when you can just give the finger to the world and build yourself a time machine.

All that was before I saw it in real life. Here is how you might find out about your own Dr. Doom:

Spiderman: Hey, did you know the Dr. Doom hates you?

Reed Richards: Dr. Doom? Is he that guy from space?

Spiderman: No. Doom. From Latveria.

Reed Richards: Oh! Right! Latveria.Yeah! Green Cape! Iron mask. That guy! How is he doing?

Spiderman: He said that you sabotaged his time machine.

Reed Richards: He has a time machine?

Spiderman: You guys should try to work things out.

Dr. Doom is someone who hates you for flimsy, weird, ever-changing reasons. This isn’t referring to a dislike, or a “doesn’t really enjoy the company of” this is a FLAT OUT seething RAGE for no reason.

Dr. Doom: REED RICHARDS IS AN INCONSIDERATE DOUCHEBURGER!

Iron Man: Why do you say that?

Dr. Doom: BECAUSE HE HELD HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A TIME THAT I HAD A CONFLICT!

Iron Man: Did he know you had a conflict? Or-

Dr. Doom: HE SHOULD HAVE MOVED IT! IF HE WAS A BETTER FRIEND HE WOULD HAVE I HATE HIM! RICHARRRRDS!

Oh sure, Dr. Doom might try to cook up some kind of reason for the hate, but it will never make any sense. It won’t be rooted in any understandable conflict, it will have wild, ever changing, unstable sources.

Pepper Pots: It’s nice to see you again, how are you doing?

Dr. Doom: REED RICHARDS IS POISONING YOU AGAINST ME!

Pepper Pots: Um, actually, he never brings you up.

Dr. Doom: THAT IS HOW HE IS DOING IT? CAN’T YOU SEE? WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND?

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