Phoenix Rising: A Ministry of Peculiar Occurrences Novel is a Unicorn Chaser in novel form. Like, say you just read, oh, I don’t know, The Grapes of Wrath, and now you’re a changed person and you’re like “Wow, my worldview!” but also, you’re kind of depressed because, you know, man’s inhumanity to man.

Or maybe you just read a book about Stalin and how he was an ass of incredible, mind-blowing magnitude. Or maybe you’ve just gone to some back-to-back funerals. Or maybe you work with victims of domestic abuse as your full-time job and when you get home, you don’t really want your entertainment to contain anything that will make you cry. Maybe the spirit, to stay alive and unbroken, needs something nice and lovely and fun before it can face the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Time to read Phoenix Rising. It is an anti-depressant in book form but it has no pesky side effects, except, maybe that you might want to write fan-fic for it after you’re done. But really, as side-effects go, I think we can agree that’s a small one. You can always write under a pen-name if you are embarrassed.

I know that most reviews contain the setup and setting and the like, but over here at, we follow our own rules. And that’s the royal “we” because:

1. It’s steampunk


2. It’s actually only me here.

Also, you can already read the setup or whatever on Amazon. I’m not going to stop you.

Here’s why I think you should read it:

  1. Witty banter and sexual tension
  2. A character is named Havelock. YEAH. I know, awesome name.
  3. Assassins!
  4. Carriage Rides!
  5. Bosoms!
  6. Surprise Third-Act Orgy: If you put sexual tension in the first act, by the third act, there will be an orgy. This is just a rule in literature. (I know, spoilers, but I haven’t told you WHY, or HOW and now you’ll just be on your toes the entire time. THE TENSION!)
  7. Women in this book are actually treated like people, and not afterthoughts or objects or plot devices but, you know, people with agency and stuff.
  8. Explosions!
  9. It is exactly like hanging out with the authors, Pip Ballantine and Tee Morris. And you’re like “Oh, you mean the characters talk like the authors?” and I’m like “No, I mean they fight secret societies and stuff with rayguns that my husband makes.”
  10. The word “quivering” is in it. YEAH.

Also, this book is dedicated to me and my husband. Which makes me TOTALLY objective for this review. You can buy it here: THE AMAZON BUYING THINGS WEBSITE OF MONEY-TAKING

TOTALLY OBJECTIVE is a series where I review things my friends have made. It is, of course, totally objective and without prejudice.  Also, this is the first one. In the series. It may not actually end up being a series. ONLY TIME CAN TELL.