The Bluebeard Room

My goal when I am cleaning is not to have a Bluebeard Room.  A Bluebeard Room is a room that guests must not, under any circumstances, enter, lest they learn your terrible secret. Usually your terrible secret is that you are a slob.

This has often happened to me when visiting the houses of other people, who say things like “NOT THE BEDROOM!” or “You may use the first floor bathroom, but not the second.” or “There is a chain around that door for everyone’s safety.” I have been guilty of having a Bluebeard Room myself. It is a shameful, hilarious practice because most people already know what you are hiding.

There are two ways to solve the Bluebeard Room problem, and though one may have more dignity, they are both valid solutions.


Clean your place so that guests can enter any room without bringing shame on you, your family, or your guest.


Resolve not to give a fuck and just let everyone know you are a slob and proud of it. They may sit on the crate next to the soda cans and the plastic container of tepid beer water if they wish to spend time with you.