I get what this looks like, but a man has to take a stand. At some point, you, me, all of us, we have to stop letting people get away with shit and really stand up for what we believe in.
So why lie?
Yes, I punched Bert Leery in the face. The nose, to be exact. I’m not going to deny it, go ahead and charge me for assult. I did it. Case closed, Mr. Holmes. He can pay to get himself a new nose, the baby Jesus knows that he pays for enough noses already – what’s one more?
What’s that? The noses? Yeah. He buys new ones for his employees. Gotta have them looking good. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not crazy. He’s in the business of having good looking fellas around, and a misshaped snorter isn’t going to get your alexa data anywhere.
Did the arresting officer happen to tell you where he picked me up, Detective? Right. The convention center. Sure. But what was the convention? He didn’t tell you that, did he? Well, I can tell you. It was the 2011 Indie Pornographers Con. The good old IPC. I’m a god-damned pillar of that community, you know. Bert, well, Bert doesn’t give a fuck about community. Never did. He’s just there to cash in. And indie? That man has serious studio money – indie my ass.