What I see is a history of what I was and a terrible, beautiful future. Years ago, I injected myself with boiling rot, bone and stardust, a plastics cocktail, laced with amphetamines to help the whole thing go down smooth. And oh, oh, I have never come back down, from that gorgeous high, that terrifying ride though my own organs, electrical impulses going haywire, blood on fire, brain mad, spine broken and skin sheered from my baby body, recovering corpse, new child.
I have been sailing since that summer day, and now it’s all salt and copper and sunlight and I’m flying on this death rot, this blood, and I live for the refracted moonlight and I die for the pain in your eyes and I’m boiling inside, and I want to break you, to take you. I’m full of desire, full of caffeine and lust and joy and luxury goods and volcanic sand.