Whenever they get in a fight, I kidnap Captain Strong’s girlfriend. I just hate to see them argue. Obviously she never comes willingly. Or at least, she puts up a good show of a fight.  She always let’s loose all her stress with the screaming and the ineffectual struggles. I think it’s good for her. When she says:

“No, Doctor Mercury! You fiend, let me go!” I know she’s ready to get on the zombie horse and fly to my volcanic island.

I understand why she needs to put up a struggle. You can’t just take off of work anytime you feel like it. She’s got to resist or else she won’t get the days. You can’t be fired for a kidnapping. That’s federal law.

But I think she appreciates it. A few days on the beach in my golden cage and she’s right as rain. Whenever Captain Strong comes to pick her up, she’s always so happy to see him – their whole fight forgotten. Of course, her being away seems to make him love her all the more. Distance and the strong heart, and all.

What do we do while she stays at the Chateau de Mercury? Typical girl stuff. She tries on all the pretty dresses I’ve made for her,  get some sun out on the beach, we watch the sunset, I drink her blood till she looses consciousness. The usual.

And if it means I need to get a black eye now and then to help mend a relationship? Well, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.